The Happiest Lives Podcast
The Happiest Lives was designed for Christian women who want to stop being disappointed in their relationships and feel more loved and loving. Here you will learn to think better, feel better, and love better.
This podcast is hosted by Jill M. Lillard, MA LPC, a licensed counselor, and Gottman Certified Couples Therapist. Jill has been helping people manage their minds, process their feelings, and have better relationships for over 25 years.
For application exercises and support in applying the concepts learned on the podcasts, you can access growth tools + Live Coaching inside her cost-effective coaching program: Clarity+Courage. Join and cancel anytime.
For more intensive support, check out Jill's signature coaching program, The Happiest Lives Academy, where you receive all you need to make FIVE transformations in FIVE months. Registration opens once a year.
Discover all her programs and courses at www.myhappyvault.com.
You can email Jill at jill@thehappiestlives.com.
The Happiest Lives Podcast
E27: Organize Your Life From the Inside Out
This month begins the series Five Worthy Transformations. Have you ever wished you could declutter not just your physical spaces, but also your emotional and mental space? Here's your chance. In this episode, I guide you on how to tidy up your life from within. We use the simple act of cleaning out a closet as a metaphor for organizing your mind, emotions, and will. We'll help you sort out what no longer serves you and make room for what you love.
If you are ready to become the woman God says you already are, you have to join me in Clarity+Courage, my cost-effective coaching group for Christian women. Learn more and enroll at www.myhappyvault.com/clarityandcourage
Discover ways to work with me at www.thehappiestlives.com
Questions? Email Jill directly at Jill@thehappiestlives.com
You are listening to the Happiest Lives podcast with Jill Lillard, episode number 27. Welcome to the Happiest Lives podcast, where you'll learn to think better, feel better and become the woman God says you already are. Here's your host, jill Lillard. I'm excited to have you here today. We are beginning a new podcast series entitled Five Worthy Transformations. It's based on the five transformations I offer inside the Happiest Lives Academy.
Speaker 1:If you aren't familiar, the Academy is my most intensive coaching program. The graduates have told me that this work has changed their lives and I've gotten to witness that firsthand, which is pretty incredible. Nothing makes me smile bigger. When I created this program in 2020, my goal was a comprehensive and exciting package for Christian women ready to experience a dramatic and fundamental shift in their lives and relationships. If you want to shed some bad habits, reach some new goals, reduce conflict in your relationships, love better, feel better and intentionally engage in your life in a meaningful and rich way, but you have felt you lack the tool, structure, discipline or the daily support to do so, I've got you. This program is for you.
Speaker 1:Though I believe transformation happens. As we steadily offer our hearts to the Lord daily, we can also inject an energy shot into our growth. For example, you may find time to take a break and unwind daily, and you might also schedule a vacation to inject your life with rest and relaxation. You may have a daily spiritual practice in your life and you also may go away to a conference for a burst of new inspiration. This is the same idea setting aside a period of time to learn, grow and apply the knowledge in a very life-changing way. I love it when we get intentional. Deliberately shedding old habits and perspectives and embracing new ones can be hard work, but it is so rewarding and, I dare say, fun. However, it won't be easy work, but we're in it together. I also fundamentally believe if we lose our sense of humor and good nature in the process, we're not enjoying the journey. Then we're doing it wrong. I'm going to help you with that. It will be fun.
Speaker 1:Each month, for five months, a new transformation is unlocked inside the Happiest Lives Academy On the podcast. This month, I've decided to go through one of these transformations each week to give you an idea of what to expect. If you're curious and want more, more direction, feedback and accountability, consider being part of this small group of women. I will surround you with everything you need to transform. I will even mail you a little package each month in the mail at your house, not just your email. It sounds really fun, right? You should know that we are enrolling now and the next cohort will run from January through May. You're not only going to get daily support from me, but you're also going to get Coach Stephanie, who is amazing. She's great at creating safe spaces for authenticity and growth. You will also get access to a community of like-minded women going through these five transformations with you. Together, you will learn tools and skill sets to create a happier life, which is so much more than everyone and everything following your script and behaving the way you want them to. If you want to learn more about this program and the massive support you will receive, just go to myhappyvaultcom, where you will find an answer to all your questions. I hope you will consider joining me on this journey, because it is going to be epic. So I've said enough, let's dive in.
Speaker 1:Let's start today with transformation number one organizing your life from the inside out. Now I've already taught you the process of heart scanning. We talked about that last month, and so, of course, the heart scan process is interwoven throughout all five transformations, including this one, but this first month we are starting with something very tangible organizing spaces in our home. This is not just about a clean closet, which can be wonderful, but even more it's about organizing the inner place of our mind, emotions and will. It's about creating new results and taking new actions. It's about releasing and letting go of thoughts that are no longer serving you so you can make room for the new thing God wants to do in your life.
Speaker 1:We will start with organizing a closet, which is literal work and a perfect metaphor. To organize a closet, I'm going to have you follow four steps. So step one is we take everything out of the closet Everything. We don't just scoot stuff to one side. We don't just take some of the stuff out of the closet. You will take everything out so that it is completely empty. That way, you can vacuum with that little crevice attachment on your vacuum cleaner. Get all the little hidden dirt and dust balls. I will ask you to wipe down the surfaces, including the rod that you hang your clothes on. You now have an empty, clean closet, a blank slate.
Speaker 1:The next thing we will do is make decisions about each of the things. We will go item by item and ask ourselves three questions. Do I love it? Is it serving me? Would I pick this today? I have some little hacks that help make this process easier, because I think we can get stuck in indecision, confusion and overwhelm. It's important we don't, so we must keep moving forward even when those feelings offer themselves. One of those hacks includes moving quickly and not spending too much time overthinking things as you ask these questions and decide. What helps me every single time is having three piles of yes, keep it, no and maybe Quite often what I find at the end of that first round of sorting is that, observing piles of a clear yes and a clear no, I am more willing to release that pile of maybe.
Speaker 1:If I was hesitating in the first place, the answer was probably no to the three questions that I asked. There might be a few things there that I end up keeping from that maybe pile, but having the option of that third pile initially helps me move quickly. So the third thing we do after we have asked the questions and sorted is to let go. We have to be willing to release what is no longer serving us, even if it did in the past. We have to let go of things that we don't love to make room for what we really love and want.
Speaker 1:If we would not buy it today, it's time to say goodbye. What helps me do this is thinking there is someone else who could receive so much joy from that item. It excites me to think that it could be a blessing to someone else, that the item can contribute usefulness and value to another person, that I had my time with that item and it was time for somebody else to enjoy it. I may offer the bags of clothes to someone specific, or I may bag them and load them into my trunk to take to charity. Now you could sell the items if there is a quick process for doing this, like a clothing resell shop.
Speaker 1:However, be careful with selling, especially garage sales. I don't recommend spending weeks and hours for some of us months putting together a garage sale. If you're a very organized and efficient person with more time than money and you enjoy the process, then go for it. Otherwise, if you spend a lot of time, your earnings divided by the time investment ends up being very small. This also slows down the process of letting go and you may lose momentum if the goal is to work your way through other spaces of your home. It can feel energizing to let things go, even if it's a little hard at first.
Speaker 1:All sorts of thoughts and feelings might come up for some of you who've been holding on to things that are no longer serving you. This is all part of the work. Let those thoughts and feelings come up even as you continue to move forward with the process. The last thing we do is create what we love. We return items to the closet from our yes pile. These are the things you have decided to keep and you like your reasons why they are serving you. You love them and you would choose them today. Most likely, there will also be space for new things that might come your way. In the upcoming weeks we repeat this four-part process with other spaces, including your car, kitchen and a storage area. But that's not all we do. You will have a workbook that will help you apply this process to the emotional baggage you have been carrying along in your life. The worksheets will help you identify and make decisions about the thoughts that have been running your life. As you examine your mind and emotions and the results you have created, you will have opportunities for coaching and processing with your cohort. There may be some thoughts that served you in your childhood that aren't serving you today. Maybe they protected you, they helped you feel safe, they helped you persevere through something difficult, but now those thoughts are doing a disservice to you, they're causing harm, they're holding you back. It's time to capture those thoughts and make some decisions about what thoughts you want running your life and relationships.
Speaker 1:The Ephesians 4, the Bible instructs us to put off the old self and be made new in the attitude of our minds and put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. In Colossians 3, we are reminded who we are God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, and because of that we can clothe ourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. To do this we must be willing to release unforgiveness and grievances against others. We can swap our old garments for new ones. We can clothe ourselves in love because he has loved us.
Speaker 1:Isaiah 61-10 encourages us to put on the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness. We can turn our mourning into dancing, our beauty into ashes. When we're willing to release the old, the subpar, the broken to him through praise and petition, we position ourselves to receive the new work he wants to do in our lives. So this is transformation number one. It's just the beginning. I look forward to sharing the second transformation with you next week on the podcast. So until then, enjoy the Lord. Let him be your place of rest. Be willing to let the old go so you can move into the new things he's doing every day.