You'll be moved by the powerful testimony of our guest, Holly Snell, who turned to faith in her darkest hour. As Holly shares how seeking God's presence saw her through the loss of her husband in a tragic accident, you'll discover how harnessing the strength found in faith can transform your hardships.
If you are ready to become the woman God says you already are, you have to join me in Clarity+Courage, my cost-effective coaching group for Christian women.
Learn more and enroll at www.myhappyvault.com/clarityandcourage
Questions? Email Jill directly at Jill@thehappiestlives.com
You'll be moved by the powerful testimony of our guest, Holly Snell, who turned to faith in her darkest hour. As Holly shares how seeking God's presence saw her through the loss of her husband in a tragic accident, you'll discover how harnessing the strength found in faith can transform your hardships.
If you are ready to become the woman God says you already are, you have to join me in Clarity+Courage, my cost-effective coaching group for Christian women.
Learn more and enroll at www.myhappyvault.com/clarityandcourage
Questions? Email Jill directly at Jill@thehappiestlives.com
You are listening to the Happiest Lives podcast with Jill Lillard, episode number 34. Welcome to the Happiest Lives podcast, where you'll learn to think better, feel better and become the woman God says you already are. Here's your host, jill Lillard. Hey everybody, and welcome back to the podcast. Today's topic is more of you. At least that's what I entitled it.
Speaker 1:This is another conversation that Holly Snell had with us during the Happiest Lives weekend and I wanted to share it with you. I shared the first conversation we had on the last week's episode, and so this is the second one, and she really encouraged us. When we have a problem, when we're scared, afraid, when we don't know what to do, the most proactive and powerful thing that we can do is to stop and get in the presence of God, and when our heart cries out for more of the Lord and that's where we turn in our struggle we are going to get reoriented in the right direction. So I'm not going to say much more. She says it all much better and she probably says more than that. That was just my little takeaway when she shared with us, so I hope you guys enjoy today's podcast.
Speaker 2:I'm really grateful for this, for this time and to have these few moments to share this next little thing that the Lord just been really hammering into my heart over and over and over again. And so I asked Heidi and the team just to help us get there by taking us into the song Breathe. Just the chorus, just that desperation saying Lord, I'm lost without you. At the end of the day, like I just got to have more of him. We can come here I go to conferences all the time for either work or women's retreats, and at the end of the day, it's just like we can come together for strategies we should seek wisdom scriptures clear about that but at the end of the day, our hearts should be Lord, I just got to have more of you, because when we have more of him, we have everything that we need, and it kind of piggybacks off of what we talked about earlier today and just being in his presence, learning from him, just that time together is so special. And so I just want to share a few things with you. I'm reminded I wasn't planning on sharing this part, but if you could stop and think about your own life and those really special times that you've had seasons where the Lord's nearness has been just tangible, where you felt like you had his attention and that he was so close that he really was as close as the whisper of his name. If you can think about those times in your life where you were desperate for him, how transformative those moments were. I'm thinking to really the worst moment of my life, but it's also when I look back on it. It also now I can say it was also one of the most tender and sweetest moments of my life too, in that, through loss, god was near. So again I just touching on a little bit of our story.
Speaker 2:23 years ago I got the call that changed my life, where I learned that my husband, along with my sister's husband, heather, that they had drowned in an accident and I get the call through a phone call, but I was on live television because there had been a whole long search for them looking National Guard was going out. They had the television reporters at our house. It was a live interview. Camera lights are on. I'm in the middle of this interview when I get the call that their bodies have been found, and so I take that call. I have to look now up at my sister, who's hanging on my every word, waiting to hear what I'm about to say, and I hang up the phone and I have to turn to her on live television and say they're gone. So my sister, she goes running in one direction and I go running out in another. Camera lights obviously go off.
Speaker 2:I don't even know what happened to that crew, but I just knew I had to get away from everybody and I found myself. I ran, I ran outside as far away as I could so I couldn't hear the crying going on that was around the property and I remember falling on my knees and all the questions began to come that we would all ask when we are met with life altering information. So I'm asking God why, what in the world? How am I here? What is going on? My dad just died. Now my husband is gone, my brother-in-law is gone. So I'm having this kind of wrestling match with the Lord, trying to understand it.
Speaker 2:But as I laid there in the wet grass, weeping, crying the Lord supernaturally because it's nothing that's good in me that caused this, this is just the goodness of our God he took my heart and I began to anchor myself and tell myself out loud who God is. I had to remind myself in that moment of fear, in that moment of pain, in that moment of what in the world? And I had to tell myself Lord, you are good. I had to remind myself. So I'm confessing it with my mouth God, you are good, this is who I know you to be. None of this makes sense, but here's what does make sense you are good, you are faithful, you are kind, even though this doesn't feel kind. So I'm just having this moment and I just begin to worship the Lord. This is just moments after hearing that my husband was gone, and again, I don't share that to say look at what I did, because it's not that, it's look at what the Lord did, that in the moment of such pain that he can lift my heart and cause me to look up and see him and remind myself of who he is and what did make sense.
Speaker 2:Fast forward to just a few years ago and my husband and I we lead a pregnancy center in McKinney, texas, and in the February of 2021, we'd had this big freeze that hit a lot of the area, north Texas in particular, and through that freeze, our fire suppression system had froze and burst and spewed thousands of gallons of water per minute. For over two days in our clinic we literally lost everything Every piece of furniture, every ultrasound machine, every patient file. For over 15 years we lost everything. It was a complete, complete loss. And as Aaron and I processed that, it was really interesting to see how the Lord again spoke very clearly and very quickly. So as I'm walking through the clinic observing the damage, ceilings are down. I mean, it was just a horrid mess. And Aaron, my husband, was sitting in my office just dumbfounded, and as he's sitting there he's looking up and one of the only things that survived was a painting by my sister, heather, and it was as Isaiah 4319 that says forget the past. Behold, I'm doing anything, I'll make a way in the wilderness and streams in the desert.
Speaker 2:So the Lord, very quickly, was just anchoring ourselves again to him that he is still sovereign, he is still in control. None of this makes sense, don't worry, trust me. And so I remember us calling our entire team letting him know hey, don't come into work tomorrow, the place is destroyed. We haven't figured this out, just stay tuned. So as Aaron and I prayed about it, our response was we just have to get in the presence of God. And so we pulled the team together. A church lent us their sanctuary. We invited the board, any of the staff, all the volunteers, and we all got together and we said there's no agenda, we just got to be with the Lord. We've got to hear from him, we got to be in his presence, and so that's what we did. We worshiped, we prayed. We heard from the Lord. The Lord gave different scriptures to different team members, and so they're all sharing how the Lord was just encouraging their hearts during that time. But we made it a priority to get in his presence.
Speaker 2:I think about all the conferences that I attend. In fact, recently I was speaking at a conference it was a pro-life conference in Nashville, and I was getting up and I was actually getting ready to share some of the stuff that I'm going to share with you, and basically I was just like we're coming here for wisdom, we're coming here to brainstorm and get all these ideas on strategies, on how to serve more women, how to be better in our communities, stronger, how to reach more, and I said but at the end of the day, we just have to be people in his presence, like that's where we're going to learn the most. That's where we're going to get the most wisdom is being in his presence. And right after me a woman gets up. She was the next speaker and she was stumbling all over herself and she said I'm a pro-life atheist and it just took her some time to kind of gather herself after I'm just like just get in the presence of God and she's like I don't think there is a God. And so I mean it was really such an interesting dynamic. But just to say like it's so important. But even she was a little rattled and people were even talking to me about it. And she's a national speaker, she does great work. She just doesn't know Jesus. But I just thought I'm sad for her because really, as smart as she is and she's very smart like oh for her heart to be engaged with her creator, how amazing would that be. So I come to you today. I'm just thinking about how important it is for us to be people in his presence.
Speaker 2:We think about the example of Solomon. We all remember that epic moment in Solomon's story where the Lord appears to Solomon in a dream and basically says to him what shall I give you, whatever you want, just let me know what it is. So in 1 Kings, chapter 3, scripture says the Lord appeared to Solomon in a dream by night and God said ask what I shall give you. And his response is Solomon. He says, lord, give me wisdom to govern your people, help me know right from wrong. And it says the Lord granted him that request, this request. It pleased the Lord. So not only did the Lord give Solomon wisdom, but he also gave him things he didn't ask for, because the Lord was so pleased by it. He gave him riches and honor.
Speaker 2:But if we know the rest of Solomon's story, did he lead a perfect life? No, the answer is no. Did Solomon have it all together? No, but in spite of all the wisdom God gave him, he ended up doing precisely what the kings of Israel were forbidden to do. In outrageously self-indulgent ways, he multiplied personal wealth, wives and sexual partners, and then, just when you think he couldn't do any worse, he builds altars to the pagan gods for his wives on the hills of Jerusalem. Solomon's life shows us something very important God helps only if we use it. And he didn't always use the wisdom that God was giving him. But I know, growing up I always thought, man, that's probably the best request ever, right or thinking Lord, give me wisdom.
Speaker 2:But there's a better example, and it's that of his father, king David, where he says, in Psalm 27, the one thing I ask of the Lord, the thing that I seek the most, is to dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple. That was David's request. And then, a little bit further down, in Psalm 27, it's verse 8. This is one of my favorite. To me, it's one of the most intimate, beautifully written, teeny tiny verses in the book of Psalms, where it says this is David writing my heart has heard you say come and talk with me, and, lord, my heart responds I'm coming. Think about that for a minute. He says my heart has heard you say come and talk with me, and my heart responds Lord, I'm coming. Don't you wish that we responded like that when the Lord and the Holy Spirit is whispering those things to us.
Speaker 2:Several weeks ago, I remember I had a choice I could either get up and work out or I could just lay there in bed a little bit longer, and I was choosing the ladder I was going to stay in bed a little bit longer. So Aaron got up, he went to go work out and but I'm sitting there feeling a little guilty that I didn't get up. But as I sat there it was, I felt the Holy Spirit just say, holly, come and spend time with me. And so I thought of that verse immediately and I remember, just throwing off the covers, I'm like Lord, I'm coming and just so excited Like we're going to spend time together. And it was sweet. It was sweet time with the Lord.
Speaker 2:And another example of David is Psalm 84. Psalm 84, one through two, it says how lovely is your dwelling place. Oh Lord Almighty, I long, I faint with longing, to enter the courts of the Lord. And there's the song that's also found in scripture better is one day in your house. He says that in verse 10, a single day in your courts is better than a thousand anywhere else. Do you hear the desperation of David? He could have had anything. He could have asked the Lord for anything. He's like Lord, I just got to have more of you.
Speaker 2:And I think about if we could get a transcript of everyone's prayers in this room over the last two weeks. What would that look like. For me, it would be certainly a lot of oh boy, what are we doing? Lord? Where are you? What's happening here? Here's my list of needs and wants. That's what my transcript would look a lot like, but I pray that the Lord will continue to transform it. Where my prayers are just more God, it's just. The simple answer is I got to have more of you, because when we have more of him, our requests are in line with his spirit of what he desires for us, and when we pray, we're really praying for what he desires for us and he's going to grant it because we're in his presence. We know how to pray. We know what to pray for.
Speaker 2:Was David's life perfect? No, it wasn't. Did he make mistakes? Yes, I think we all know that. But even the Bible says that David was a man after God's own heart. Why would God say that? It's because he was faithful to the Lord. He was repentant when he did wrong and he loved the Lord with all his heart. How beautiful is that? I love that we have that example of someone who wasn't perfect, who made mistakes, some big mistakes, but he was repentant when he did wrong. Can you imagine if the Lord said that about you. She is a woman after my heart. That would be one of the, I think, the most beautiful things I could ever hear of the Lord saying Holly, you're a girl after my own heart.
Speaker 2:Another beautiful example in scripture is that of Asaph. Asaph, he was a Levite who was actually appointed by King David. He was a worship leader in Jerusalem and he led the people in celebration and song and he was faithful and he was obedient, and there's tons of Psalms that were written by him. But there was a time when Asaph could not perceive the goodness of God, at a point of pain and pressure and problems in his life, these things that bothered him so deeply. It created this deep resentment in his heart and scripture says he came close to slipping off the foundation of his faith Because, while he understood that God truly had been good, he could look around his life and see things that did not make sense and he did not like it. Why are the wicked people prospering? Why does it seem like everything is going right for them? So Psalm 73 is kind of this diatribe of his complaints and his frustrations about what he's seeing all around him the first part of Psalm 73.
Speaker 2:But then there's this beautiful moment where his heart begins to shift and change and he says and then, or until I went into your sanctuary. And it's there that his perspective began to change, because before he was seeing how the wicked people were prospering, he said they wear pride like a necklace, they're mocking God. And Does that not even sound like our culture? Now, right, it's everywhere people are mocking God. So we can probably relate to that in some. In some ways, we can look around and go God, where are you? Why are you letting them get away with all this stuff? When are you going to just show them the truth? But we have to get into the presence of God and that's when our perspective begins to change. We begin to see things more clearly, just like Asaf, because it's in God's presence, he realizes he didn't care, he really didn't care about the things, he just needed more of God, and that became his heart's cry.
Speaker 2:And Then there's this beautiful moment Towards the end of Psalm 73. It's verse 25 and 26, another one of my favorites, where Asaf, like David and Psalm 23, asaf is doing something similar, where he was talking about God, and then he moves to talking to God and he says this whom have I in heaven, but you, I Desire you more than anything on earth. My health may fell and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart. He is mine forever. Asaf begins his Psalm. We're quoting it. It says but as for me, my feet almost slipped. He finishes with at the end of Psalm 73, but as for me, how good it is to be near God, I will tell everyone about the wonderful things you do. So what exactly happened between the beginning of Psalm 73 and the end? He encountered God in worship and in the presence of God he was transformed to begin to see things differently.
Speaker 2:I remember After Heather and I had lost our husbands and we moved back here to Missouri and we were living next door to our mom, also a grieving widow at that time. So life was a little cray-cray at that time and there wasn't a lot of joy for a while, if you can imagine. And Things were heavy. We still loved the Lord. I could even handle like if, if worship music came on, it needed to be the slow kind, not the celebratory kind. I just couldn't handle the praise and that my heart just wasn't ready for it, but the slow stuff. Sure, I love you, lord right, I'm singing those types of songs.
Speaker 2:But there was this one particular day I was by myself and the music was going and I was cleaning the house and I had one of those little pink feather dusters in my hand and I'm kind of bopping around the house and I'm cleaning and dusting, and then had music really loud and then this song, the old song you have turned my morning into dancing came on and and it's a faster song, is an old Hillsong song. And so I found myself I was just singing along and dusting away and then it hits me, what the words that are coming out of my mouth? And I mean it stopped me in my tracks and I remember I fell to my knees and I Wept like a baby. As I'm thinking about the words that are coming out of my mouth, because for the first time my heart was rejoicing in In his presence. It was in was even though I was home. I was in his presence because I was lifting praise to him and he was there. We know scripture says that he inhabits the praises of his people. So as I was giving him praise, he was there. And as he was there, my eyes began to see differently. And then I'm like, look what you have done, god. You have turned my morning into dancing. My sorrow has now been turned into joy and I meant it with every fiber in my being and I just had this moment with the Lord where I danced like a crazy girl. I mean, it was me and God, and I didn't care. I Didn't care how foolish I looked, because it was me and my God and I, for the first time, was rejoicing, rejoicing in the fact that he had gotten me this far.
Speaker 2:Think about Moses as another example. There's this extraordinary passage in Exodus, chapter 32 and 33. And While Moses was up on Mount Sinai receiving instruction from the Lord, the Israelites became impatient. They were even wondering is he dead? Because they hadn't seen him for a while. So Aaron, moses's brother, he pulls the people together and encourages them to fashion a golden calf for worship. We remember the story, right?
Speaker 2:So while Moses is coming down the mountain with the Ten Commandments, can you picture it? He hears the celebration and sees all the dancing and Moses is like, oh, my word, right. He gets so upset. He breaks the Ten Commandments, he's calling out their sin and in the accounts that followed, about 3,000 people died by the sword and a great plague hit the people because they worshiped the calf. They were in all kinds of hot mess, trouble, like it was big time bad. So they kind of get past that and Moses is like, okay, great, I broke the Ten Commandments, what am I gonna do?
Speaker 2:So he goes back up the mountain to be with God again and God tells Moses. He says, moses, you can lead the people to the promised land. Let them go, but because of their sin I will not go with them, otherwise I will kill them all, I will destroy them. He specifically says in Exodus 33, I will not travel with you, for you are a stubborn, unruly people, and if I did, I would be tempted to destroy you along the way. But hear this God's compassion was absolutely on display in this moment. The Lord was willing to give them the desire of the heart, which was the promised land, but they couldn't have His presence. So how does Moses respond to that? It's really beautiful, verse 15, he says if your presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here. And the Lord replies to Moses I will indeed do what you have asked, but I look favorably upon you and I know you by name. Then Moses takes it a little bit further. He's just pressuring just a little bit more and he decides to say this okay, well then, will you show me your glory? Let me see you.
Speaker 2:Moses knew that to be in God's presence, it was everything that, that was the treasure, that he would rather be in the wilderness wandering with God than be in the promised land without Him. That was his priority. So Moses in Exodus, chapter 34, moses spent 40 days and 40 nights in the Lord's presence, riding down the word of God, and when he finally descended down the mountain, he did not realize that his skin, the skin of his face, was glowing. He didn't even realize it, but he was being transformed by the presence of God. In other words, god had really kind of rubbed off on him just being in his presence, and so it's just interesting to see when we are in the presence of God. We should look different, and not necessarily physically, although, sure, modest all those things but more importantly, we should act different. We should be different. We should not sound and look like the world. We should be transformed by spending time in his presence. I'm thinking.
Speaker 2:Several weeks ago I was talking to Hannah on the phone and she cracked me up, because as soon as I called her, she literally answers the phone. And she said, holly, I still smell like smoke. And I was like, what are you talking about? And she was referring to the night before, just a beautiful time in the presence of God, and basically it was fire. So she smelled like smoke, and that's not so. As she said that I was thinking about Moses and his face glowing. I'm like she's got, she's smoky, she's been with the Lord, and so, anyway, I just thought that was kind of funny. But in essence, though, we need to be different. If we are truly spending time in the presence of the Lord, we should look different, because God does want to transform us.
Speaker 2:Another important note I want to just point out is that we cannot rely on others to pursue God for us, and we can fall into that trap pretty quickly. So back in Exodus, chapter 20, now, the Israelites didn't want to encounter God for themselves. They heard the thunder, they saw the lightning and the smoke billowing from the mountain, and they said they said to Moses you tell us what God says and we will listen, but don't let God speak directly to us. They wanted Moses to do it for them. And there are plenty of times where we just want to be around somebody who has spent time with the Lord rather than spend time with him ourselves. And the point here is don't be content. Don't be content with being around someone who has spent time with the Lord. Don't be content with listening to certain pastors or leaders that you think are just those are the epic people who are following after God. When you can go up the mountain yourself, you, like Moses, can go up the mountain yourself and be with God. He is the great I am.
Speaker 2:The other thing I just want to point out, too, is what is your promised land? So we know for the Israelites, for Moses, we know there was this literal land that God had promised for them. At the end of the day, even Moses was like I don't want it. Unless you're with us and some of us may have these ideals that we have put in our minds of this is my promised land. If I just had this, or if I just had that, or if I just looked like this, or if I was married to whoever this person is, that would be my promised land. But are we willing to get that and those things without God going before us and being with us Because, again, just like for the Israelites, he was the cloud by day and the pillar of fire by night. They just were constant in motion, with the Lord going with him, moving with him, and let that be us. Where he goes, we go. When he stays, we stay, and there our hearts cry would be Lord, whatever my promised land is, whatever my ideal future is, let me not sacrifice all these other things or time with you in order to get it, because, at the end of the day, the number one thing we need is God in his presence. He is the treasure, ladies, and I pray that he will give us hunger, a desperation for his presence that we would know we are lost without him. We cannot do this on our own.
Speaker 2:Psalm 91 says those who live or dwell or abide in the shelter of the most high will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty. That word, abide, is important. We even hear that from Jesus in John, chapter 15, where he says abide in me and I in you, and you will produce much fruit. The command there is not producing fruit, the command is abide, and by abiding it produces all these beautiful things. So even in Psalm 91, which I like to refer to as the 911 of the Bible. When things are falling apart, when everything seems to be just blowing up in your face, go to Psalm 91 and start with verse one that says those who live it doesn't say those who visit, those who stay, those who abide, those who live in the shelter of the most high will find rest. If you don't feel like you are living in a life of rest, it may be because you're not abiding. So abide.
Speaker 2:Rest in him, in his presence, is fullness of joy. In his presence, there is hope. In his presence, there is love, peace, protection, comfort, provision, possibilities, compassion, power, mercy, grace, healing, forgiveness, transformation In his presence is everything that we need. We are to seek wisdom Scripture's even clear on that but more than wisdom, seek him, the giver of the wisdom. I know, erin and I.
Speaker 2:Anytime we meet with couples who may be struggling in their marriage, we always say the number one thing you can do for one another is to individually abide with the Lord, because when you abide, that is the greatest gift you can give your partner, that is the greatest gift you can give your children, that is the greatest gift you can give your friends, that is the greatest gift you can give your coworkers. One third is to abide, to be in his presence. And hunger and thirst never be satisfied saying Lord, I've had enough. Say Lord, I wanna be like David one day in your courts. One day in your courts is better than 1,000 anywhere else. Let that be our heart's cry. His presence can be our inheritance. So let that resonate, get deep inside of you. Even take time this weekend and just be alone with him and say Lord, will you help me develop that hunger for you? Will you help me develop just that passion to be in your presence, because that will change you. That will change you.